Woman Breaks Off Engagement After Overhearing that Fiance is Emasculated By Her Successful Career: ‘I hope she fails’

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 28, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. When you're in a healthy relationship, your partner should want the best for you. Your happiness is their happiness. Your success is their success, and they relish in seeing you succeed in your hopes, dreams, and goals in life. They don't just relish in your happiness and pride, they will do whatever they can to help you achieve your goals. If your partner feels competition or bitterness about your success, the red flag could not be more glaring. 

If your partner wants you to fail, or is resentful of your success and happiness, there's an underlying cause that will only manifest in other unhealthy and toxic ways. They will do what they can to bring you down, to destroy your confidence. This is not a healthy or secure person, and to be in a healthy relationship, one must love themselves and be secure in themselves first.

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  • 01
    r/TrueOffMyChest ⚫ 2 c throwaway-destroyed A drunken revelation destroyed my relationship with my (ex)fiancé. I'm destroyed by it
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 02
    Sorry if this is all over the place. It's only been a week since it happened so this might be all jumbled. I was with my ex-fiancé (31 m) for four years. Our wedding was going to be next month. One of his friends is getting married next weekend and he was in the wedding party. The bachelor party was at a
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 03
    brewery. There were lots of pictures and videos. I (32 f) am not on any social media but people we both know saw them.
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 04
    Basically he kept telling his friends that he hates how competent I am. He admitted to doing things to make my life harder like putting things on the highest shelves out of my reach or breaking things that I need. He said he does it so I will need him more. That's not even the worst thing he said in my mind. I'm a
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 05
    paramedic and last week I took the exam to become a tactical paramedic. He said he hopes I fail the exam because it is not fair that my job is more important than his (he works in marketing). I was so nervous about the exam and he knew how important it was to me. I can't even explain how much it hurt me when he said he hopes | fail.
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 06
    He says he was rambling and he didn't mean it because he was drunk. He said none of it was true even though in some of the videos he went on and on about it. He also repeatedly messaged one of our mutual friends (who wasn't at the brewery) about wanting me to fail. He is blaming it all on the alcohol. Hearing him
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 07
    say over and over that he would sell his soul for me to fail my exam or he wishes he could stop me being a paramedic at all so his job is more important was like a gut punch. I don't believe him when he says it's not true and he was just drunk. I feel so stupid for not realizing he was doing little
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 08
    things to make my life harder. Apparently no one else did either and everyone thought he was a great boyfriend. But I'm ashamed.
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 09
    I saw his mom a few days ago and she apologized to me and was embarrassed. She saw the videos and apparently he also sent several messages to one of his brothers about how he hopes I'm a failure. It is so humiliating for me. I broke up with him and I've moved out of our apartment. I've been dealing with getting off
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 10
    the lease and cancellating all the wedding stuff because he didn't want me to break up with him. I haven't talked to him and probably won't ever again. His friend was having the wedding in a different province and he still wanted me go with him to the wedding like everything was fine.
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 11
    I wouldn't be able to look anyone there in the eye. I feel like a complete idiot. What he said hurt me more than anything else in my life. I feel like I'm drifting. I don't feel like I can even look anyone I know in the eye. They've all seen the videos and heard what he said. I feel stupid
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 12
    because I thought our relationship was so good.
    via u/throwaway-destroyed
  • 13
    Sudden-Magazine... • 2d ago The silver lining here is that you found this out before you married him. You shouldn't feel stupid for trusting the person you love not to fail you. That is 100% on him. He failed not you.
    via u/Sudden-Magazine
  • 14
    EllieCrown2 2d ago He embarrassed himself. He basically declared to everyone, that he can't deal with an equal partner that has her life together.
    via u/EllieCrown2
  • 15
    He is so insecure he would actively try to sabotage you, because than he can look himself in the mirror and feel somewhat superior. Hold your head up high and find a partner that deserves you.
    via u/EllieCrown2
  • 16
    This Cauliflower1... • 2d ago Alcohol was a truth serum that your ex felt emasculated by your success.
    via u/This Cauliflower1
  • 17
    Bullet dodged. He wasn't the one for you, and while this is devastating it's for the best that you aren't getting married to someone who prays for you to fail or be needy.
    via u/This Cauliflower1
  • 18
    You will find someone who celebrates you and amplifies and is proud of you. Until then, keep being awesome. You go girl!
    via u/This Cauliflower1
  • 19
    C1sko • 2d ago Congratulations on finding all this out BEFORE getting married to your #1 hater.
    via u/C1sko
  • 20
    Ine... 2d ago • Edited 2d ago • A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts
    via u/Ine
  • 21
    Fort20BlazeHit • 2d ago This is heart breaking to read. I would do the same thing if I was in your shoes. Being belittled by someone you thought you could trust is such a hurtful experience. I'm so sorry you had to hear that
    via u/Fort20BlazeHit

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